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mrsLet me start by saying that I was delighted that it was such a beautiful day today. It definitely was great to get some sun on my face.  I’m sure that most of us in the Northeast feel like bears emerging from months of hibernation, and who isn’t ready to shed the heavy clothes and the winter weight?  Unlike most years when I have those pesky five pounds to shed and I’m happy to ditch the sweaters and jump into some spring clothes, I have to say that I’m having a little rougher time this year. Since being diagnosed in November, I’ve put on almost 20 pounds, and regardless of how quickly it may or may not come off when I’m done with chemo, I still have to deal with looking and feeling like Mama Berenstain.  I made the mistake of going to TJ Max to see if I could pick up something that might be cute and/or comfortable – and let me warn you: don’t ever go into a TJ Max dressing room unless you are having a particularly great self-esteem day!  There I was, with the bad lighting, the distorted mirror, my bald head and a body that doesn’t belong to me.  Now I know why Mama B. always wore the same blue polka dot nightgown!

I know that one day in the not-TOO-distant future, my goldilocks will have grown back, my hands and feet will feel less like frozen bear claws and food will taste “just right” instead of like concrete- but today, I’d much prefer to climb back into my cave until all this is over. For now, I guess I’ll just have to grin and bear it.